Me

By Caroline Hesby, TIWP Student

Too quiet, too loud
Not confident, too proud
Narcissistic, unaware
Too much, too bare.

Oh how,
Can I be
Just one and not three?
You judge,
til I fit,
Your ideal,
That’s not me.

Way too big, way too small
She’s too short, she’s too tall
What’s she wearing? Let’s all stare
Does she just not even care?

She’s the dumb one, she’s the nerd
She’s dating this guy, so I heard
Way too smiley, way too dull
Never uniquely beautiful.

So you mold me
Like I’m clay
And I pose throughout the day
Trying to stay
Between your lines
Simply obeying your warning signs.

‘Cause we’re only one thing
Maybe two
Whatever is simplest enough for you
Not allowed to be a mix
Of all our countless characteristics.

But you see,
I’m joyful and I’m calm.
Curiosity rests inside my palm
I am witty and I’m hushed,
But to tie me down you are rushed.

I want to be smart and I want to be wild
I want to run freely like a child
I want to be stubborn and I want to have ease
I want to be the only person I have to please.

You try to soften my edges
And try to patch up all my scars,
You yell ‘til my voice is silenced
I watch as you rearrange my stars.

But I’m bursting from my soul
As you try to turn my heart to coal
I must be one thing, is what you say
Like a dog being told to stay. 

So I can’t be pretty, if I’m strong.
I can’t be right if I’ve been wrong.
I must be focused or just carefree,
‘Cause I must be one thing, I can’t be three.

But half a puzzle brings no one joy.
A missing part can ruin the toy.
I don’t want to be one, not two, and not three,
I want to be everything, 
‘Cause I want to be me. 

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